Jack Bauer – Serial Killer

I was surfing the web as I normally do (killing time at work) and one of my new stops badassdigest.com had the story heading “A Complete Accounting Of All The 267 People Jack Bauer Killed on 24”.

You can read the article or you can do the math but you get the same data. In the eight seasons, therefore eight days (or 192 hours), shown on TV about our “hero” has killed 267 people. Holy shit!

This means Jack killed an average of 33.375 people per day or 1.39 people per hour.

By comparison John Wayne Gacy killed thirty-three people between 1972 and 1978. That’s 2,190 days.

So… he killed .015 people per day or .0006 people per day. John Wayne Gacy is maybe one of the most notorious serial killers in the U.S.

Jack is therefore 2,200 times more likely to kill you on any given day than a notorious serial killer. Great googly-moogly I’m glad Jack Bauer retired.

Cost of Living

I think the first short film I saw via the internet was a Batman fan film where Batman fights an Alien and then a Predator shows up. I thought it was awesome. It had all the darkness I wanted, legit special effects and more importantly I looked feverishly for anything else the person had done. I wanted more.

Recently I found an article about this short film, Cost of Living, while visiting Badass Digest.

It is funny, well paced, and it left me wanting more. Check it out.

COST OF LIVING from BenDavid Grabinski on Vimeo.

Fantasy Series Roundup

I read a lot. I mostly read fantasy novels. No no, not that kind of fantasy. No, not the kind with talking cats either. I read things with guys and (in no small amount) girls who carry swords and do battle with evil. Sometimes there is magic. Ok, all the time there is magic but I like it when it is subdued.

Anyway, the undisputed king of fantasy in the good ol’ USA is George R. R. Martin. He claims he’s not going to die before he finishes the series he’s working on (Fire and Ice) but I don’t believe him. I turned on all my friends to his series and now we just wait around for the next book. Boring.

Well, I stumbled upon this list of “fantasy series to read while waiting for the next Martin book” at io9.com the other day and what do you know – I’ve read or am reading many of them.

1. Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrik Rothfuss: This is an ongoing series that I expect to have a couple more books. Its told in the first person through flashbacks. That was annoying at first but the story and characterization is pretty good. I’m looking forward to the next book.

2. Malazn Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson: This is an ongoing series as well. Additionally, it is the series I’m currently reading (Book 5). It’s pretty good. God(s) verses mortals of various races seems to be the through arc. There are good fight scenes and the Brigeburners are good characters. However, there are these huge dumps of history and info that can really bog down the story if you’re not really into world building. I’m looking forward to reading the next book.

3. The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb: I’ve not read this or even heard about it but I do remember the cover. It sounds like a trilogy for the younger less jaded crowd. I think I’ll skip it.

4. The Frist Law Trilogy by Joe Abercrombie: This series is great and finished to boot. Joe Abercrombie is my favorite new author and I’m eagerly waiting for his next trilogy. This is told with varied view points like GRRM and with gritty realism. This is not for the kids. World building is not overdone and the characters are freaking deep man. They always tell you to have layered characters. Villains that you can relate to and that kind of stuff. This has it. I would say the only bad thing is that you can kind of tell he was a first time author. There is a lack of polish that you find in his last book The Heroes.

5. The Way of Shadows by Brent Weeks: I’ve read this series and it’s pretty good. For all the rough language and adult themes this still read like a younger adult’s book. I liked it and would recommend it but really it is a Ninja story. It’s really good for what it is and I devoured all three books. Perfect for summer.

6. The Sundering Duology by Jacqueline Carey: This I might read as the io9 review says its from the bad guy perspective and that is something I’ve been toying with in my writing. However, the last time I read a fantasy story written by a female I spent a trilogy wading through a story about a gay hero. I just couldn’t realate.

7. The Black Company by Glen Cook: This series is pretty large and should take you a while. I’ve read all of them and I liked them at the time but in retrospect I feel like they are over hyped. They’re good action stories with likable if shallow characters. These books have like a cult following or something so there are really glowing reviews. I blew through all of them as fast as I could so I obviously liked them but now I feel like I can’t even remember them.

8. Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson: I’ve not read this one but I do remember the cover. The review sounds like it is very complicated with twists and turns. Maybe I’ll pick it up if I feel like paying attention to detail.

9. Shadowmarch by Tad Williams: I like the Dragonbone chair series so I will probably read this sometime in the future barring new books by Joe Abercrombie even though I think Tad Williams writes for a younger crowd.

10. The Earthsea Cycle by Ursula K. LeGuin: I’ve not read it. The review doesn’t make me want it. Sounds…political in nature. Maybe too much talk and not enough stabbing.

So I’ve not read four of the ten. Not bad.

I’m surprised the Demon Cycle (?) series by Petter Brett isn’t on there but then again I’m not. It’s nothing like GRRM in that it is a juvenile book that grows adult by the end of both book one and book two. However, each chapter is told from the characters view point ala GRRM. It’s a cool concept even though it falls back on the fantasy requirement of having the “chosen one” come kick everyone’s ass after a suitable training montage. The next book I think will either redeem or kill the series.

My picks for your next three non-GRRM series would be the Kingslayer Series(Rothfuss), First Law (Abercrombie), and the Demon Cycle (Brett).

Ode to Robert. Robert!!!

Now that I have a daughter I find these types of videos funny or otherwise entertaining.

Get your two step on.



She now has her own t-shirts and ect. I would by one of Robert but sadly there isn't one to buy.

Justified is back.

Damn this is exciting.

Justified is a guys show for sure. The characters were first created by Elmore Leonard from Get Shorty fame and they just drip with competence. Now, this thing, men on TV with competence is a pet peeve of mine. Well, to be more accurate – men on TV that lack competence is a pet peeve.
I find that men – aka manhood – is often looked down on. The sentiment of “he’s just a man what do you expect” seems prevalent in the eye rolling of commercial and sitcom wives.

It always seems like the male character needs to be taught the proper way to do something by the woman character. Or, perhaps the female character just has to sigh and accept that the male character just doesn’t get it.

Exhibit A: Everybody Loves Raymond. Raymond could do nothing that didn’t involve looking sheepish. If he was sent to the store to he couldn’t buy the right items and had to talk up what he got to make it seem like he wasn’t a failure. Cue eye roll.

Exhibit B: The yogurt commercial where the gal is talking about all the pie flavors but they guy thinks they’re pies and not yogurt so he searching frantically in the fridge. Open the door and look. Done. No frantic search needed. Not even for the best pie in the universe.

Exhibit C: NCIS. Every physical confrontation needs Ziva to save Tony’s ass in a fight. Really? Every time? Ok so she is trained. I get it. She could use her skill to take down a bigger opponent who lacks skill ,or, an equally skilled opponent who weighs about the same as her. But there is a reason professional women fighters aren’t in the UFC with men. They can’t hang. The muscle mass differential/ available strength is too great.

However, in Justified Ralyan is always on top of it. Even if someone got the drop on him he doesn’t worry. He’s got it covered with a combination of smart ass-ness and a quick hand. People call him to come help. Not the other way around.

Hell, even the woman characters on the show are competent. If Eva needs to she’ll sweet talk you or bust your nose with a frying pan if you weren’t paying attention properly. Its whatever you need.

Tune in and check the show out. It’s on Tuesday evenings. The dialog is quipy and straight to the point sometimes with a poetic turn of phrase (Especially when Walter Goggins has a line).

Master Minor

I grew up in Richmond Indiana. I don’t think I was born there, maybe the next town or so over, but I grew up there.

Population: 36, 812 (2010, Wikipedia)

Now thirty-six thousand is about the same size of a small college, say like San Diego State. I didn’t know everyone there but when people talk about you they’ll talk about your family. Something like “Oh, he’s a Lankford. You know how they are.”

Culturally it is a far cry from San Diego, which happens to be the fifth largest city in the country and my current residence.

When I was growing up you weren’t racist if you called someone a nigger. You were just normal.

Then in the eighth grade I wanted to take a Kung-Fu class some of the other kids were taking. I rode my bike down on a Saturday to look at the school and the door was open so I walked in. There was an Asian man and an African-American man standing in the window talking. They had on their Kung-Fu training clothing and both turned and didn’t say a word.

Nervous I looked to the Asian and utter something to the affect of “I want to take the Kung-Fu class”. I mean he was Asian and in a Kung-Fu school. It made sense.

The African-American man spoke and told me to come back the following week at ten o’clock. I think it took me all of ten minutes of the following week to realize the instructor of the class was the African-American man.

His name was Chris Minor and over the next five years or so, until I left for boot camp, he taught me martial arts, helped my self-esteem, and was generally a father figure. He, more than anyone else during my adolescence, shaped what I was to become.

Before him I don’t remember meeting an African-American. Hell I didn’t even think on the race subject I suppose. I was only in the eighth grade after all.

But thanks to him I started to slip the cultural bonds of my community. Now looking back I can see that my time with him was the beginning to the end of cultural leanings toward racism, homophobia, bigotry, and the belief that a factory job was good enough.

So today on Martin Luther King Day I say thanks to Master Chris Minor whom taught me about equality and gave me the seed of courage needed change those things in life that have plagued so many.

Nicolas Gage - Vampire

I knew it!

There is no other way to explain his success.

This photo is from the 1870s and apparently was auctioned on EBay.

If you own the original photo you will never age. This is, of course, only true as long as Nick Cage is "alive".